Nothing quite keeps us from enjoying success more than the concept that we don’t deserve it. That somehow, as a human being, we deserve less than others. Some of us even have people who encourage this line of thinking. Well, it’s time to take all of that energy and pour it into a whole new mindset using the exact same tools that were so effective in creating that cocoon of self-doubt and low confidence.
The path to enjoying success is paved with confidence. But we can help you turn self-doubt into self-love, so you have a better chance at loving your dreams in reality. From silencing the self-hating voice to talking mindfully, embracing all of who you are and even starting the morning on a path to success, we’ll show you how to change your thoughts AND how they make you look to the world around you. See which tips serve you best, below.
Get on the Path to Confidence and Success With a Few Simple Tips.
Silence the Self-Hate
No matter what anyone is saying to you, your inner voice is usually the loudest one, and a lifetime of negative self-talk can make it practiced at being the worst one. But, it isn’t necessarily the right one, so it’s time to feed it some new phrases. It may not be easy, but it could be amazing.
When your inner voice starts talking smack, change things up with the tips below.
- Imagine those hateful words coming from someone you don’t respect. Have a celebrity you despise? Imagine those words coming out of that person’s mouth. Would you give them the same level of belief that you’re giving your inner voice? Remember that it may be people just like the ones you don’t like who helped you develop that mean voice.
- Keep an image in your mind of yourself looking your best and happiest, or in your “happy place.” When that voice starts in, silence it with your vision of happiness.
- Be realistic. Sometimes that inner voice is so extreme, it’s ridiculous. You don’t “always” do anything and “never” is a long time, so shut those extremes off with logic. Think about the words or phrases you use most often. Now, tell yourself something more likely. “You’ll never be happy” can easily be replaced with the more realistic, “You set your own standards for happiness.”
Start Talking Mindfully
We sometimes assume that our thoughts are random or that we have limited control over them, but that actually isn’t true. The thoughts that come to us evolve from years of practiced habit. If you’re immersed in self-doubt and a lack of confidence, it’s possible to change those habits with some mindful thinking.
- Recognize your triggers. For many, people and goals are big triggers. Preparing ourselves for the worst, we might practice conversations that haven’t happened yet without realizing it. Stay away from toxic people whose voice over the years has embedded negativity in your mind. And when it comes to goals, instead of asking yourself what happens if you fail, ask what happens if you succeed.
- Beat your voice to the punch. If you can tell when the negative self-talk will start, head it off at the pass with a few encouraging words. Give yourself a good talk before meeting with your triggers. Lay the foundation for a positive experience.
- Reject anything you wouldn’t say to someone else. We are often our own worst critics and while we speak words of encouragement to those we love, we don’t always put that effort into ourselves. When the negative talk starts, remind yourself that it’s rude to speak like that to people, and replace the words with something more useful, like the encouragement you would give to a friend.
Embrace Your Flaws
In a world that is constantly telling you to be positive, think happy thoughts, and basically pretend reality doesn’t have a dark side, we’ve got a new concept for you: you have flaws and negative parts to you, and you should be thankful for them.
Every part of your personality serves a purpose, even your flaws and your dark side. Those things were are there because you needed them at some point, but hopefully that time has passed. Many people are trying to change themselves by suppressing or hiding their flaws. But then those flaws and dark side fester and erupt at the most inconvenient times.
What if you were headed into a job interview where you started reminding yourself that you aren’t a good public speaker and that since you’re interviewing with more than one person, you’d probably blow it? And then maybe you did blow it. That’d be negativity erupting at an inconvenient time.
Now, what if, when you reminded yourself that you aren’t a good public speaker, you instead asked yourself why. Why do you feel the need to suppress your voice around people? Maybe you’ll realize that at some point in your childhood, you had to. Maybe you got in trouble for talking over adults or asking a lot of questions. So you silenced your voice and avoided speaking to or in rooms of people because taking that path was the safest thing to do at the time.
You developed a habit that kept you safe. Thank yourself for being such a miraculous being that your brain knew to develop that habit. Then, recognize that you aren’t at risk anymore. You aren’t a child, and you do know what you’re talking about, and speaking in a room full of people is far less dangerous now than avoiding doing so, which could ultimately lead to you missing out on opportunities. Rinse and repeat for similar scenarios.
Begin Your Day the Right Way
Some people wake up with a to-do list front and center. Some people wake up dreading the day and how they know they are going to fail it. To begin your day in a way that paves the way for confident success, you may need to make a change before you even get out of bed.
When you wake up, even if your to-do list is front and center, embrace the idea that completing anything on any to-do list is reaching some level of success. Instead of feeling the weight of the list, feel the forward motion of it. Find gratitude in how far you have already come and for the fact that you have a brand new day to use as a blank canvas.
Take a moment to look at your reflection and see that person as a good friend who needs a daily dose of encouragement. Hand that encouragement over as freely as you would to your best friend or a loved one.
Practice positive self-talk throughout the day. Thank your flaws and dark side as needed, then move on to a more productive path. The faster you come to terms with the idea that every facet of you has a purpose, including your “flaws,” the faster you may start seeing yourself in a new light. And beyond that, the new confidence and self-love you project might bring like minds and situations to your path.
Remember, your self-doubt and lack of confidence weren’t created overnight, and they are super easy to fall back on. It might take some time for your positive self-talk and confidence to build up, but start mindfully making it a habit so that when you are in a difficult situation, this kind of mindset is easy to access. Every single day is a new opportunity to be the person you want to be.