Am I happy? Why am I doing what I’m doing? These thoughts and others like them were driving me mad and pissing me off. Didn’t I deserve to feel good? Why did I always feel so BAD? I found out that these and other things were naggy little clues saying it was time for a shakeup. They can be subtle or like snapping turtles, but signs are signs. And I realized I was in need of a major life change because of them.
It turns out, misery is not a life requirement. Nor is ruttitude. Not a word? Fight me, it is too. I was mired in ruttitude, the attitude that comes from being in a rut — and I didn’t even know I could get out. Once I did, I realized on reflection that there were clues all along but I didn’t know to look for them. Maybe if I had, I’d have gotten out of my ruttitude sooner. These things should make us all take a hard look at our lives because they may be trying to tell us it’s time for a major change.
Look Out for Clues that May Indicate the Need for a Major Life Change
Going Through the Motions?
I felt like my life was predictable and boring. I realized that I needed a change, and saying “yes” to that voice yearning for more was the best decision I ever made. A nagging sensation or desire to do more with life or feeling stuck in a routine can be an unconscious indication of dissatisfaction. This is ruttitude. This is that grouchy, tired, bored, snappy and jerkish way of getting through life on autopilot because things just suck. I went through this. I would wake up, get my kids ready for school, go to work, clean the house, pay the bills, then rinse and repeat.
Not being sure of what you want to do or how to pursue it is common. So know that you’re not alone. I’m building a new life as a single mother. I was nervous because I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be and I had more than myself relying on it. But I’ve really grown as a result. I finally decided that if I never took the chance, I would just continue to flap around in ruttitude for my entire life and I didn’t want that. I wanted to be happy; we all deserve to be happy.
The thing is, we can continue doing what we’re doing, and worrying about all the bad things that might happen if we change things up. But, what if all the good things we imagine happen instead? And even if the worst does happen, it’s not like we don’t know how to get back to the place we started.
Maybe you feel tired, not physically, but mentally and spiritually tired right to your core. Many nights I would sleep eight or nine hours and still struggle to get out of bed. I was fed up with what my life was (and wasn’t).
Thoughts such as “I can’t do this anymore,” or “I need to move on” may be clues that something needs to give and that a shakeup would be beneficial to spur future growth.
Struggling to Get Through a Major Life Event?
When something major happens, it can be a great opportunity to move into change. Moving houses? Start that gluten-free diet you’ve been thinking about. New kitchen, new start.
I took advantage of the reflection brought on by my grandmother’s death to take a step back and really look at my life. I took an accounting of the things that were working for me and saw that I desperately needed a change.
Maybe it’s obvious to others, but this was when I realized that we are all going to have rough patches, but it’s what we do with them that will help determine the course of our lives.
When We Think We’ve Settled
Feeling as though we’ve settled for less than we deserve in any aspect of life is a major clue that something may need an overhaul.
When we start to feel this way, it can have an impact on our personality (ruttitude, see?) and day to day life as we act according to our perception of ourselves and our circumstances. Blah blah, what I mean is, when we’re unhappy, we internalize it and then act like jerks. I do it, and most of us do. And we gotta knock that off if we want to move into the good stuff.
I didn’t feel like putting forth an effort in my own life because I felt this way all the time — and it was a major clue that I needed to make some changes. I had to shake it up, shake myself up, rattle my bones so I could FEEL again. You know?
Have You Stopped Working on You?
In my case, I had put everyone’s needs ahead of my own and learned the hard way that if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we can’t help anyone else because we’re trying to pour from an empty glass.
Recognizing I needed to take care of myself was my first step in changing my life for the better.
What Now? (I Don’t Want to Leave You Hanging)
I don’t want to leave you with clues and no ideas for next steps. Here are a few ideas for navigating the shakeup, if it’s coming, based on my research and things that worked for me.
Look into classes to take for either personal development or to precede a job change. If moving or having a new home would invigorate, take the steps to pick up an extra job to save money and get that going. If a partner is just not the right one, do something about it. Obviously, we might have to talk with them and work on building a better relationship, or if that doesn’t work and there just isn’t a way to find common ground, then maybe it’s time to work out how best to separate.
But we don’t have to turn everything upside down to feel better. Changing small things made a big difference for me. Finding ways to reduce stress is a great place to start. Spend time alone to reflect and pursue clarity. Get connected spiritually to a higher power or through meditation or reading to help bring calm to transitions and stressful changes. This might help when it comes to handling those things that come as a result of the changes both large and small.
I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re seeing clues, these or others, it may be time for a shakeup. No matter what, I hope you start doing or keep doing, or rediscover, those things that make you happy. And I hope this helps you get there.